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Destinyjello

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Chinese Happiness?? [09 Mar 2016|11:28pm]
[ mood | pensive ]

Hello Livejournal...my old old friend. It has been a long time hasn’t it? Much has happened since I last shared with you. I have experienced a multitude of life changing and life affirming events in the last 8 years or so. Recently, for some reason, I have felt that maybe I need another outlet to discuss some things that have produced some dissonance within my ever active mind.

A lengthy post is behind this cut...Collapse )

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Trying to transfer money... [26 Sep 2009|05:21am]
[ mood | lazy ]

UK to Canada...






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Tomorrow has come... [19 Aug 2007|11:55pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

I don't really know why I just felt like posting here tonight. It's been almost a year since I dabbed any ink in my so called "journal." I know I'm not a person that can keep a diary of sorts detailing the nuances of my life. There's never anything I ever feel the burning need to post or to get people to read. The past year of my life has been mostly filled with things that are as fleeting as the life of a fruitfly. Granted, I did go to 2 concerts, got a job at a tutoring centre and got into the Education Program at UBC, my life still feels rather stale.

I really looked forward to Josh Groban's concert on Friday night (Aug 17th). Although this new album, Awake, was not a favourite of mine, I still enjoyed it. Many of the songs on this album did not strike me until I heard them live. For some reason, even with my pestering cough at the time, I felt inspired; the songs really lifted me up. Josh does his job well. I was overwhelmed by the shear number of fans he actually has here in Vancouver; I didn't think there would be so many Grobanites here. He's deserving of it all though. But I did wish he would've sang more songs from his previous albums, because that probably would have made me even more emotional than I was.

The start of my new degree brings about a bag of mixed emotions. This is what I seem to want to do, but I still have a lot of doubt in myself. I do enjoy teaching for the most part. There seems to be a part of me that feels like I'm not fit for the job; that I'm not organized enough or social enough or strict enough or know enough to handle a classroom of students at a high school. It is terrifying to imagine myself on my first day of my practicum and having to instruct 30 young impressionable human beings. In being a teacher, I feel I do have a billion other responsibilities to the kids I teach other than educating them according to a curriculum. I do want to help them in every way I can - being a friend, a confidante, a mentor. I feel like I can't let them down as so many of the teachers seem to do nowadays. I guess it is unrealistic for me to take on all these roles, but half-assing the job of a teacher would make me wonder why I even bothered. Having spent the last year hoping and doing what I can to procure this goal, I really can't second guess myself now. I did pick this path because I knew it would probably be the easiest way for me to get a stable job, but this really isn't a dream that burns deep inside my being. Well, nothing really ever gets that far with me; I'm never so into something that it would kill me not to achieve it. Two week until this path really starts to take shape, and all I can do is hope for the best. I'm excited that I'm getting on with the next part of my life, but I'm afraid that the next year will make me realize it was all in vain...

I think I've finally accepted something about me at this point in my life - I will probably never make any more close friends. Don't get me wrong, I am smitten with most of the people I know now. I cherish their friendship and don't wish for any of it to change. However, it is worrying me increasingly that I have not made any new friends for the past 5 or so years. There have been a few passing acquaintances during university, but nothing substantial. I just feel like I don't have the patience to put the work that's required to build the close friendships I desire. I generally don't just call people I talk to about school or trivial daily ongoings to be friends. I need to feel that deeper connection with another person for there to be any lasting ties. I don't know how this even came about. All my friends I've known for at least 7 years. This makes me wonder if I'd ever be able to open up and put effort in forging any more friendships. It is very disconcerting to me. This feeling also extends to ever finding a significant other. It isn't that this is something I'm desperately wanting, but really, if I can't make friends I don't see myself finding someone to be in a relationship with. Sad me. But then, there's something even sadder...

I guess that's most of what's been on my mind lately. Yet, the one thing that bothers me most often, never really goes away. I wish for something to smack me in the face and tell me to get going, to go live my life and make it exciting.

My cold has given me a nagging cough and has left me light-headed a lot this week. I hate feeling light headed. It feels like I have no control of my life and I'm just existing, just there vegetating on the ground I'm standing on. And when I move, my entire world spins and I begin to stagger as I try to reposition my body and hope I don't collapse. I've also found it difficult to concentrate on anything because my head would just not have it, it would punish me with dull, numbing pain that I promptly treat by taking a nap. It's getting better now. Hopefully I won't have to deal with this for much longer.

I'm just going to end this which a line from a Josh Groban song (Let Me Fall) that I am using as my MSN nickname right now that really just summarizes how I've been feeling for the last year or so.

«·´`·.(*·.¸(`·.¸There's a moment when fear and dreams must collide¸.·´)¸.·*).·´`·»

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A little word diarrhea... [25 Sep 2006|12:53am]
[ mood | gloomy ]

They say life is not easy; that it’s a bumpy road with forks riddled to confuse you. Sometimes you come across a large rock and accidentally trip over it. A scratch, that’s all. Other times there’s really nothing in your way, but you like to build yourself a giant wall, one you believe you can’t possibly disassemble to continue. The stones and pebbles just somehow magically conglomerated right in front of you.

Maybe, if you’re lucky, there will be other people there, without you asking them, already picking away at the wall. You stand there watching, eager to rid such an obstruction. Watching your mates, you realize the vastness of this wall and the slow, weathering effect of their efforts. You decide to join in, but to no avail as only tiny specks of sand chip off the wall. You’re in no hurry, but you look around and you see the verve of your support working intently and methodically. But even so, the wall stands its ground seeming to extend wider and taller than before.

Eventually, with some of your unrelenting vigour, a small hole is punctured into the thickness of the barricade. Success fills your heart. You rejoice with the company as you all peer through the miniscule window to the other side. What is seen? Unfortunately, pellucid is not a word you can use to describe this view. You still feel lost. What paths lay before you on the other side? You stand back and look at the wall. It taunts you.

You wonder why this is so difficult. It’s just a wall isn’t it? Just like any other wall, right? But you realize it wasn’t built by anyone, at least not physically. Maybe you can magically make the wall disappear or blast it to smithereens with some spell. Yeah, as much as this is a metaphor for life, you know you’re still no Harry Potter. What more can you do? You feel like you’ve exhausted yourself so you just take out your nice comfy armchair that you stash away in your pocket and your Nintendo DS and enjoy yourself for a bit beside the useless peep hole you made in the annoying bulwark.

After a while, you see some of your supporters peering around the edges of the wall. You realize, OMG, why don’t I just walk around this damn thing? As you approach the ends of this already vast work of the supernatural, to your dismay, the edges extend as you walk. You start to run, but yeah, it’s really not that easy to overcome this power that’s at work. You stop, panting, gasping for air. You return to your supporters with zeal hoping they would tell you what was on the other side. That’s the next best thing since you obviously can’t seem to access the realm of the wall guarded kingdom that is your life.

You consult with your groupies about the wonderful news they bring. You were just slightly disappointed that beautiful faeries, elves and angels were in none of their accounts of the other side. Though you’re now catching on to this nightmare, not two of them gave the same description of the land beyond the impenetrable. Oh joy.

Now you’ve had it. You rant. One at a time you relish in the release you feel as you spew out the problems the magical wall has caused you to your peers. Don’t they understand? They couldn’t. They have no walls like I do…

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Personality thingy... [28 Jul 2006|01:54am]
[ mood | complacent ]

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion:

You have low extroversion.
You are quiet and reserved in most social situations.
A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you.
You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people.

Conscientiousness:

You have medium conscientiousness.
You're generally good at balancing work and play.
When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done.
But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it.

Agreeableness:

You have medium agreeableness.
You're generally a friendly and trusting person.
But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism.
You get along well with others, as long as they play fair.

Neuroticism:

You have medium neuroticism.
You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic.
Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy.
Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is high.
In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.
You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.
A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.
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Coming home!!! [18 Jul 2006|05:46pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

I'll be in Vancouver tomorrow at 11am. Yay!!! Home Sweet Home.

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The tour is over... [08 Jul 2006|08:28pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]

As you have probably guessed the past few days of my tour was lacking of any internet access. The hotels offered free internet but only if you had a laptop to use. I don't really want to talk about the last few days where we went around Shanghai, WuXi, and HanZhou. It was basically a lot of gardens and boring places that I didn't really have much appreciation for.

It rained in Shanghai the first day we got there so it dropped the temperature from 39 degrees to 30. I'm grateful for that, but we continued on the tour the next day in the rain. I didn't even bother recording any videos because of the rain and the umbrella being in my hand.

I realized that most of the other families had parents that are university graduates from China and they actually know how to speak English. Since this was a Mandarin based tour, practically everyone understands it. My parents can't speak Mandarin. They can understand most of it, but they can't speak it properly. It's kind of embarrassing how my mom just slurs Cantonese and hopes that it sounds like the Mandarin. Sorry, it just doesn't work...

It's also quite funny how everyone thought that my brother and I are twins just because we're around the same height. They hardly believe that I'm 21 and that I've graduated from university. Another thing, 2 people asked me if I'm mixed because I look sort of foreign. That was quite funny.

Now I'm living at my mom's older sister's place. Her son has a pretty old computer; it's a Celeron 900Mhz with 128Mb ram. It seems to run Windows XP ok. I'm so glad they actually have internet access and air conditioning otherwise I'd die before the 12 days pass.

I'm soooooooooooooo sick of the heat. I want to come home. I miss Vancouver. I miss you guys.

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Beijing: Day 2 [03 Jul 2006|09:06pm]
[ mood | tired ]

O-M-G. Like, I really shouldn't count my chickens before they hatch. Today...was twice as bad as yesterday.

We had to wake up really early so that we could get to the Great Wall at around 8:30am to beat the crowd and the heat. I really hate the buffet breakfast that we have at this hotel. Everything sucks. They've got bland fried noodles and rice and a whole bunch of tasteless dishes. I really don't seem to be liking northern Chinese food.

So we get to the Great Wall, and it's a section of the wall that doesn't have any of those mechanical things that carry you up. I've never been to the Grouse Grind, but let me tell you, it probably rivals that. The stairs are grossly disproportioned, some steps are like 1.5 feet high and at 45 degree angles. I didn't even bother going all the way up to the top. It was way too tiring and even though the temperature wasn't so bad, I was drenched. Like I was dripping water. I wanted to strip off my shirt. I was probably about 90% to the top before I decided to turn back because if I didn't, I would haven't enough time to get back down. Going down...is...suicide. After using all your energy lifting your legs for those 1.5 feet steps up a 800m mountain, your legs feel like jello. I was still able to stand, but as I bend my knees down to the next step, it feels like my legs are going to give way and I'll just tumble down the 3 billion steps. It was actually quite a tempting thing to do. I just wanted to get the heck out of this miserable place. Ugh, so I've been to the Great Wall now, whoopeedooda *sweat drop*.

The rest of the day was quite low key. Which was kind of good after that treacherous climb.

We went to a jade museum and I bought a dolphin (it's just something I need to buy everywhere I go) and a blue cat's eye pendant.

Next, we headed off to some place where 13 emperors were burried. I forgot what it is called. We just walked a very short part of it. It was a path where statues of generals and various animals were placed so that the two sides of the path were mirror images.

Lunch came next. Well, not really, we had a short tour of a Cloisonne factory first. It is such precise work. I think I'd go blind making these miniscule designs on a vase and then tediously colouring them in with enamel.

After lunch we had some free time to shop around in this small market area. There was nothing interesting there.

The next two places are very very similar. First, we stopped by Bao Shu Tang, which is famous for a lot of their "multi-purpose" lotions and pills. There this one cream that like helps any sort of skin ailment. The smell of the creams and the patches were intoxicating. It reminds me of those vials of tiny pills that I used to take for stomach aches and such.

The last highlight of the day was a famous place known for their herbal medicine. Here's where they talk about how Chinese medicine is really good because it helps you balance out the certain things in your body so you can be healthier and get sick less often as opposed to the western medicine which just tries to "treat" symptoms when you've already got something. So my parents get their "pulse" taken and spend like $1000 Canadian buying these pills they need to take for 3-6 months.

Then we head off to dinner. This is probably the best meal I've had in Beijing. The one thing about eating out at Beijing resaturants is that the rice sucks. It's always mushy and sometimes cold. They give you like a small plate of rice to share between 10 people. These two guys from California eat so much rice. I was kind of surprised, I said to them, "I can't believe you're more asian than me." lol

This was kind of the first time that I got to chat a bit with some of the kids in our group. It was quite amusing.

Now it's about 9:45pm. We're leaving for Shanghai tomorrow. We need to be up at 4:45am and leave for the airport at 5:15am. Sure, screw up our biological clocks even more. I'm sure mine's going haywire.

I better get to bed now...

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Beijing: Day 1 [02 Jul 2006|09:40pm]
[ mood | tired ]

I'll keep this short.

So like, we go Tian An Men Square and there's not really much to see, just took a few photos of the buildings around.

Then we went inside the Forbidden City. It's huge, and because it's so huge, it got boring really fast. You just keep on walking in door after door and seeing the same sort of buildings. The place supposedly has 9999 rooms and the emperor's bed is like tiny, it's like a single bed lol.

Then we had lunch.

After a quite unsatisfying lunch, we went to the Temple of Heaven. It is a really nice building, but there's nothing else really to look at there and we spend like 1.5 hours there anyway.

Then came the Summer Palace, which we don't actually get to go in. All it really is is a tour around a lake. Again we spend 1.5 hours there.

Next, we get to see an acrobatics show. They're no Cirque du Soleil that's for sure.

For dinner we had Beijing's famous Peking Duck. I much prefer the regular BBQ duck we have in Vancouver Thank-you very much...

So, I'm back at the hotel now typing this up. It's about 10pm. I need to be up at 6am tomorrow because our group decided that we want to get to the Great Wall early so that we won't have to walk in hotter weather in the afternoon. I guess that's a good idea, but it's so early!!!

I haven't complained about the heat here yet. It's not THAT bad. However, it's REALLY bad if you're walking in it for 6 hours of your day. Lots of people in our group just continuously bought iced drinks and popsicles to fight the fire. For some, every time I turned around I'd see them with a different kind of ice cream. Popsicles are like 2-5 RMB (China's currency) which is like 25-70cents Canadian lol. They also sell iced bottled water for 2 RMB which I so regret not buying any...

It is so FREAKING DISGUSTING to have to walk in sweat drenched clothes. I wanted to just pour water all over me or jump into the water at the lake or something. GROSS GROSS GROSS!!!

I really hope that tomorrow will be better. Hopefully there won't be as much walking. Well, maybe all this exercise will help me lose some fat.

So much for short eh? Although, it's not that long compared to some of my other posts.

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Interesting flight... [02 Jul 2006|05:36am]
So...during my flight from Vancouver to Beijing I realized that there were quite a few really fit guys on my flight. I think I recognized a few of them, though I didn't make anything of it. Two of these guys sat right in front of me. The others were spread throughout the plane but most of them walked around and even chatted with the two guys in front of me. I was trying to savour the eye candy on this 11 hour flight lol.

After I walked out into the area where people pick up their relatives and such in Beijing, there was a sign that said "Welcome Gymnastics Canada." I was like, O-M-G, I totally know who those guys are; Canada's Men's Gymnastics team was on my flight. Here's a link to the team if you're interested in checking them out lol.

Canadian Men's Gymnastics Team.

Aren't you jealous Jay? lol
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Leaving... [29 Jun 2006|10:37pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

I'm going to China.

I'm going to be gone for 20 days.

I'm going to be on a tour for 8 days. It will be in Beijing and Shanghai.

I'll be going back to my parent's home village for the remaining days.

I'll be back on July 19th.

I will probably not be able to come online...

I don't seem very excited.

I will be leaving for the airport tomorrow morning at 10am. Our flight is at 1pm.

Good-bye everyone~~

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Quizzy [26 May 2006|03:27pm]
[ mood | complacent ]



Your Seduction Style: The Dandy



You're a non-traditionalist, not limited by gender roles or expectations.

Your sexuality is more fluid than that - and you defy labels or categories.

It's hard to pin you down, and that's what's fascinating about you.

You have the psychology of both a male and a female, and you can relate to anyone.

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I've resuscitated my Livejournal!!! [02 May 2006|12:37am]
[ mood | content ]

It’s been a mere decade since I posted anything here hasn’t it? I guess it’s just like every other aspect of my life – I just keep on putting things off. My chronic procrastination permeates into everything I get involved in. Since the online game that I’ve been playing for the past few weeks is doing maintenance, I guess I’d type something up.

During the last month and a half or so I’ve been wanting to post at various points of my last semester of university. I thought, yeah, I’ll post after the last day of classes, but that day came and passed. Then I had 2 finals on the first day of the exam period and after that I was like, yeah, I need to rant a bit about how stressed out and tired I was. Unfortunately, I was too burnt out that day and although my next final was more than a week away I never ended up updating. This was when I started to play that online game, it was getting a little addictive, but I eventually got myself to start studying 4 days before my next exam. At this point I was like, ok, might as well just wait until I finish all my finals on April 21st before I update my Livejournal. Yes, that day came and passed. So, the next goal I set for myself was that I’d update after I get my marks. Which, I guess I haven’t failed at yet because I only have one mark out of the four that I should have gotten last Friday. I’ve been eagerly waiting for them; logging into my UBC account every 5 seconds hoping that the end really is here…I’ve already ordered my grad gown and tickets for my congregation in the end of May.

After these four freaking years of torture I can’t wait until it’s officially done and I have my Cell Biology and Genetics degree. I’m like 99.99999999% sure I passed all my courses, but as long as those marks don’t appear, I’m still a little nervous. I’m sort of hoping for at least a B in everything. I know I didn’t do so well in any of the courses this semester, but it doesn’t matter so much at this point. I was really really hoping that I’d somehow get my overall average to 80% to finish off my degree with an A- average. But doesn’t look like that’s going to happen…stuck with my B+ (79.5%) GRRRR….

Anyway, let’s talk a little bit about what happened just this past week. I was quite busy, busy with get togethers with various groups of friends. There were 4 gatherings, one of which I planned. Now that I’ve seen everyone again, I don’t really know when I’ll see them the next time because there aren’t any birthdays coming up. I hope the few of us who are still here in the summer have some time to meet up once in a while. Things will probably really get rolling next year when more of my friends graduate and some of us apply for jobs or programs. *sigh* The future sometimes depresses me because I know some of my friends will probably move away…

I think I’ve finally decided that I want to be a teacher; I want to teach high school biology (Biology 12 most likely, I hate Biology 11 with a passion…not to mention I know absolutely nothing about plants because I avoided all the plant courses in university). Unfortunately, my 6 years of tutoring doesn’t really count towards applying for the Education program at UBC. They want me to have experience teaching groups of teenagers if I want to apply for the secondary school option. I’ve thought about teaching elementary school, but I really can’t see myself doing it. Since last year, I’ve tutored four grade 4 kids. The material, of course, is easier, but I have a hard time trying to get them to sit still and listen. Well, this is the reason I’m going to be taking a year off before I put myself back into school yet again. For the next month and a half or so I’m going to be tutoring Bio 12 at Killarney to prepare them for the provincial exam. After that, I’m going to talk to my summer school Chem 12 teacher from high school to see if she’s teaching anything this summer and if I can help her out. Other than those two things I guess I’m going to have to find other volunteer opportunities involving groups of teens so I get as much experience in this one year as possible. I’m such a loser though, because I’m saying this now, but whether I actually go and do anything about it is a different story…

Oh right, my parents are planning to go to China this summer to tour the famous cities (Beijing, Shanghai etc.). That’d probably be in July sometime. I’m sort of looking forward to it happening because I don’t know if I’d get another chance to go in the next 10 years or something. I’ve also been yearning to buy a violin which is like really cheap in China.

That should be a sufficient update for now. I guess it’ll be another while before I try to fit Livejournal into my unbelievably busy schedule of procrastination.

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Studying sucks... [11 Apr 2006|03:01am]
So here I am doing something trivial at 3am in the morning when I've got 2 finals today. Go me. I have to be up in 3.5 hours. Both of my exams are in the same classroom, yes classroom, not a big gym or lecture hall, a puny little classroom. So, after 6:30pm today, I might want to set the room on fire before I leave campus.

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you meet that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
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I think this is kinda cool =P [11 Feb 2006|11:14pm]
http://kevan.org/johari?name=Destinyjello
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December [30 Dec 2005|07:30am]
[ mood | groggy ]

What a month...what a month...Collapse )

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Another one over, a new one will soon begin... [17 Dec 2005|01:43am]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Yesterday...Collapse )

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Pardon my anger... [07 Dec 2005|12:00pm]
[ mood | angry ]

Fuck, I just failed my cell biology final, someone needs to shoot me....better yet, someone shoot my lying profs.

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Stolen from Jay [30 Nov 2005|04:29am]
Birthday: October 26, 1984
Birthplace: a small little village in the province of Guangdong, China
Current mood: *bleh, there's school again tomorrow*
Current music: no music since it is 4am in the morning
Current taste: toothpaste
Current hair: Black with blonde streaks
Current clothes: sweat pants and long sleeve shirt (my sleeping wear)
Current annoyance: ironically, it's annoying that I can't think of something annoying me right now
Current smell: nothing
Current thing I ought to be doing: probably sleeping, or if I was a real keener, studying for finals
Current windows open: 1 MSN chat, 1 Firefox
Current desktop picture: Some pretty blue swirly water thingy
Current favorite band: I don't really listen to bands much, but I'm loving that new Celine Dion/Il Divo song and Enya's new CD
Current book: I've been thinking of trying to finish Christopher Rice's 3rd book that I'm 1/3 of the way through
Current cd in stereo: I like don't use the stereo, all my music is in mp3 format playable on my computer and mp3 player
Current crush: I don't really ever have crushes...but let's just say Darcy from the new Pride and Prejudice movie that I saw today =P I was harsh swooning over him throughout the movie
Current favorite celeb: Keira Knightley, she kicks some hardcore ass lol
Current hate: This is hard, um...ok, I really hate my messy room right now lol

Do I=
Smoke?: No, what perplexes me are doctors that smoke, it's a paradox, they know how damaging it is, yet they still do it...
Do drugs?: No, so I was wondering today how do needle users get into it, cuz like, I'm so scared of needles and wouldn't want to even start sticking a needle in myself every day
Have sex?: No, but that's because there's one thing you require for that, and well, I kinda don't know if I want one right now
Give oral sex?: Nope
Receive oral sex?: No
Have a dream that keeps coming back?: No, haven't had one of those for a long time actually, I used to have this really silly one that freaked me out like crazy, but it's the most hilarious thing ever
Read the newspaper?: Sometimes when I take the bus to school, I mostly just read a bit of it and just go do the Sudoku at the back
have any gay or lesbian friends?: Hmm...I actually don't have any lesbian friends, I only have like, gay and straight female friends...so diverse eh?
Believe in miracles?: What sorts? Like me getting a really good mark in one of my classes? Well, let's hope they do exist then *crosses fingers*
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: Yup
Consider yourself tolerant of others?: Yup, but like please don't go on for 20 minutes about how I owe you an imaginery 100 dollars and talk about how you're going to charge me interest
Consider love a mistake?: If it is, then I rather make it...
Like the taste of alcohol?: If going to Europe didn't get me into drinking I don't know what will...I don't particularly see what makes it so popular to practically everyone
Have a favorite candy?: I don't really like a lot of candies, but I love Mr. Big chocolate bars lol
Believe in astrology?: I believe that the constellations are in the sky, but whether I'm going to have difficulities with my nonexistent job isn't too convincing
Believe in magic?: I'd like to believe that there's a trick behind all magic, but sometimes they seem so real...especially Cyril Takayama...and of course if Harry Potter was real that'd be a pretty cool world
Have any pets: Nope
Go to or plan to go to college?: I finish next April...
Have any piercings?: Nope
Have any tattoos?: Nope
Hate yourself: I only hate me and I a little bit, I'm ok with myself =D
Have an obsession?: The amount of time it takes me to think about this question would indicate that I don't, but maybe I do and I just don't know it
Have a secret crush?: Yes, it's like harsh a secret...locked up in my tiny little red heart =P
Have a best friend?: I don't have a best friend, but like I do have a bestest better best friend lol
Care about looks?: Well yeah...

Love life=
First crush: It was in highschool, though not a real celebrity or anyone from school
First kiss: Still to come...
Ever been in love?: I'm reluctant to answer this question, which means you're going to go OMG you've been in LOVE??! LIKE WHO!?!?! OMG!!!! So, for the sake of not confusing people, N-O...
Do you believe in love at first sight?: No, if that happened to me, that'd be such a miracle...
Do you believe in "the one?": Yes and no, confusing? Yeah, good for the brain lol
Describe your ideal significant other: Honest, caring, gentle, handsome


=Juicy stuff=
Have you ever played a game that required removal?: Removal of what? A plastic wrapping? lol
Favorite place to be kissed?: Like a geographical location or like on the body? Vagueness deserves no answers
Have you ever been caught "doing something?": Maybe by like a fly or a spider in the room or something, that's TMI isn't it?
Are you a tease?: That could be very satisfying *evil grin* lol
Shy to make the first move?: Well, depends how receptive he is to the "teasing"

--APPEARANCE:--
Hair: Black
Eyes: Brown
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 130ish

--LAST PERSON YOU--
talked to: Jay
hugged: I think it's Laura
kissed: Refer to Love life Question numero deux

--HAVE YOU EVER...--
Dated one of your best friends?: Not really...
Loved somebody so much it makes you cry?: Yes I'd cry...
Drank alcohol?: Yes, how could I have gone to Europe and not drink lol
Done drugs?: Ok, I haven't done nor do I do drugs...this is like a repeat question for me...
Run away from home?: Never really actively tried, but I know I definitely thought about it
Broken a bone?: Nope
Played Truth Or Dare?: Yes, but it never gets juicy enough for it to be really really fun
Kissed someone you didn't know?: Ok, is kissing that important? Like there's 3 questions about it already...I HAVE NOT KISSED ANYONE, GET IT?
Been in a fight?: Physically, never
Come close to dying?: Don't think so...

--RANDOM QUESTIONS--
What's on your bedside table?: Clock, cordless phone and a piano book
What do you eat when you raid the fridge/freezer late at night?: I like when there's leftover noodles, it's the asian in me *yummy noodles =P*
What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?: A Walk to Remember, Moulin Rouge, and Titanic, yes, but I don't think I'd ever watch it again
If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?: There's something about having unnatural things in my body just making me feel gross
What is your biggest fear?: The uncertain future
What feature are you most insecure about?: My intelligence...being in those philosophy classes kills my brain cells...
Do you ever have to beg?: Don't think I have...maybe a little...
Do you have too many love interests?: Nope
Do you know anyone famous?: Nope
Describe your bed: Flowery bed spread, flowery pillowcases and flowery blanket lol and yet I don't feel like I'm sleeping in a garden
Spontaneous or plan?: I like a bit of both
Do you know how to play poker?: Yuppers, play with my friend and cousins almost every week
How do you drive?: Not sure, but I know I drive better than my mom =P
What do you miss most about being little?: Not being disillusioned to how crappy my family and life is
Are you happy with your given name?: My name is like so obscure, it's not even cool, it sounds like Chun Li, and people mistake me for being Korean
What color is your bedroom?: White
Who are your best friends?: Am I the only one getting sick of repeat questions?
Do you talk a lot?: Hard to believe, but I talk like [] this much
Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?: I think I don't like or believe in myself enough...
Do you think you're cute?: Like sometimes I think I'm a fluffly little bunny rabbit *hops*
Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?: I think this is what others see of you, not as your see yourself, but if I am treated like I treat other people, I think I'm pretty nice
Do you spend more time with your girlfriend, boyfriend, or your friends?: Why do questions assume things? Like what if I didn't have any of these? And of course considering what I've already said, obviously it's going to be friends like duh
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It's been a very very long time... [24 Nov 2005|11:26pm]
[ mood | blah ]

It's been over 2 months since I actually wrote anything. I really don't know what use I have for this journal except the fact that I go read about what's happening with my friends.

The last post talked about my glorious trip to Europe. Well, even though I didn't quite enjoy the experience I miss it. I've been kind of thinking about it for about a week now. Maybe it's because I don't really want to be here, and if I were to have enough time to explore Europe on my own, I think I'd enjoy it a lot more. I do want to go back, but next time, whenever that'll be, it'll be on my own terms, my own planning.

Ironically, the tour manager from my trip emailed everyone from our group today. She talked about her memories with our group and how horrible it was for her when she managed the subsequent tour after our's. It was apparently a 35 day camping tour. I can hardly imagine the horrors that would have been bestowed upon me if I were to go on a trip like that. Our 16 day tour with cabins and such was already quite undesirable, I don't know how anyone can basically go camping and set up tents every single day. Not to mention they also have to like peel potatoes and stuff. I guess it really is camping.

School is ending in a week. I have a 10 page paper to write for my Critical Studies in Sexuality course. I haven't started. I'm thinking of writing it on homosexuality in China, or chinese homosexuals. It seems quite specific actually, but I'll see where it takes me.

It's becoming very daunting. I will be graduating, GRADUATING, from unversity in April. It is unbelievably scary. I will have my bachelors degree, and I don't know what I'll be doing with it. I'm pretty sure that I'll be taking a year off to either volunteer or work. Depending on what I wan to get into, I have to choose what I'll be doing. I'm thinking of either going into Education or grad school. If I plan to get into Education, I need experience with groups of teens because I would want to teach in a highschool. If I plan to go into grad school, I'll probably have to find a lab to work in. I think I'd prefer to be a teacher. The thought of going into research isn't so appealing.

This semester just flew by. I only have school 3 days a week, and that just accelerates everything. Luckily, I'm only doing 4 courses, and only have 3 finals. I'm glad my finals are spread out quite evenly, Dec 7, 12 and 16. I could just cram one exam at a time.

See, I should be reading the articles for my sexuality paper, but I've decided to write in my journal. Ain't I just the master of procrastination? I mean, I don't post anything for over 2 months, and suddenly, when I have like a shitload of work to do, I decide to write something. I don't sound like an university student.

I'm probably not going to end up doing any reading until tomorrow. But hey, I did a 10 page paper for another course last year in one night without sleeping. So, considering that, I think 3 days is plenty. I can't wait until it's all over. I want Monday to come, yet I don't.

Oh, my friends got me a PS2 game as a belated bday present. Thanx to everyone that's chipping in ^_^. I know I'll have many hours of RPG fun considering I usually take like 20% more time than most people to finish a game.

Blabbing will end here I guess.

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